


Strength

by BaraLinni



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Hospitals, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 18:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14899325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaraLinni/pseuds/BaraLinni
Summary: Turks AU. Saïx gets hurt during a mission and he and Xemnas have a serious discussion over a hot cup of hospitalisation





	Strength

Saïx’s crazed eyes swept over the bloody bodies littered across the floor, checking for movement while he felt the rage gradually leave his body. Satisfied that no one except himself looked to be going anywhere ever again, he turned to walk away, before whipping back around and placing a bullet between the eyes of a suspicious-looking body. After quickly surveying the room again, he turned and hurried across the hallway into the room opposite, where he almost collided with Xemnas.

Saïx’s heart and body flooded with relief at seeing that Xemnas was almost completely unharmed, with only some small scratches here and there as testimony to the fight that had taken place.

Before he could express his relief, however, Saïx’s vision began to swim and the floor started to rotate beneath him. He tried to will his arms to wrap around Xemnas’s shoulders to steady himself, but it was as if his hands had turned to lead, too heavy to lift. Distantly, he could hear Xemnas call his name before all of his senses faded out and the world turned black.

When his senses returned to him, Saïx found himself staring up at a white ceiling, the sharp smell of disinfectants telling him that he was in a hospital. That, and the periodic bleeping beside him.

He let his eyes wander down from the ceiling and they landed on Xemnas, who was sitting by the bed, an unreadable expression on his face.

Saïx felt his lips form a wide, soft smile. “Hey”, he croaked out, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

An array on emotions flashed across Xemnas’s face before settling on that same unreadable expression again. “You took a bullet for me”, he said flatly.

Saïx frowned at him, piecing together his current situation with short flashes of memories from before. The mission, the warehouse… crippling fear, a sharp pain in his stomach, and uncontrollable fury. He nodded. “I remember”.

Xemnas glared at him. “It was utterly foolish, unwise, senseless, idiotic and, above all, dangerous”.

Saïx laughed weakly in spite of the discomfort it caused him. “Yes yes, you’re welcome, dearest”.

Xemnas glared even harder and looked like he wanted to slam his hand onto a desk for emphasis. “This is no laughing matter. You let your emotions get the better of you and it almost got you killed. You’re lucky you survived!”

Saïx felt like he wasn’t taking Xemnas’s words seriously enough, but the wooziness from just having woken up and from the painkillers he no doubt was on was making it hard to concentrate. He gave a lopsided smile, eyes filled with warmth. “At least you’re okay”.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about!” Xemnas exclaimed. “You can’t put me above duty, not in our line of work. Not in the Turks”. He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair, looking down. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. “If we can’t put work above each other when it matters, then I don’t know if we should continue being together”.

It was as if a hand of ice took hold of Saïx’s heart and squeezed, and he forgot how to breathe. “You’re wrong”, he gasped. “I would’ve… done that for anyone”.

“Would you have, though? Really?” Xemnas fixed him with a serious look, but his expression softened at Saïx’s heartbroken face. Xemnas lowered his eyes and ran a hand through his hair again as he sighed, and spoke in a softer voice. “I’m sorry. I really don’t want to break up, but it might be the only way to keep us both from doing something stupid”.

Desperate to change Xemnas’s mind, Saïx reached out blindly with his hand. He found one of Xemnas’s hands and intertwined their fingers. “Taking care of others… isn’t stupid, it’s-” Saïx winced and had to pause to breathe, “it’s part of our job”.

“Yes, but you’re much more than part of my job”. Xemnas sounded defeated as he looked down at their clasped hands. Slowly, he brought them to his lips, huffing out a deep breath over the back of Saïx’s hand. “I worry about you”, he murmured, eyes downcast while he kissed the bandages that covered Saïx’s knuckles. “Every mission, especially the ones when we aren’t paired up. What if something happens to you when I’m not there? What if something happens to you when I’m there, but I can’t stop it?” He touched his forehead to the back of Saïx’s hand, and his last words were almost a whisper. “What if someone tries to use our love against us?”

Saïx was speechless, largely because Xemnas had just voiced all of the worries that he himself had been plagued by. He flexed his fingers, trying to show his own feelings by tightening his hold on Xemnas’s hand.

Xemnas kissed Saïx’s knuckles again. “You understand, don’t you”, he murmured against the bandages. He took a deep breath and lifted his head enough to give Saïx a sad look through his lashes. “We can’t let each other become a weakness”.

Saïx shook his head, trying to think of how best to convey his thoughts. “I worry too. It eats at me… but it also helps me make better decisions, fight harder”. He looked Xemnas steadily in the eyes, putting as much assurance into his words as he possibly could. “You may be my weakness, but you’re also my strength”.

During the time it took for Xemnas to react, Saïx wasn’t sure if his heart was beating faster than ever before or if it had stopped altogether.

Finally, Xemnas nodded slowly, a small smile tugging on his lips. “And you’re mine”, he murmured.

Saïx felt like his whole face shone with his own smile, and he extending his fingers to gently stroke Xemnas’s jaw. “Does this mean… we don’t have to break up?”

Xemnas sighed and leaned into the touch. He stayed quiet for a while before speaking again. “Indeed”. Then he scooted forward on his chair and leaned down to kiss Saïx, gently, slowly. When they separated, he smiled. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think I could leave you even if I tried”.

Saïx tilted his chin up to brush their lips together again. “Me neither”.

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am again, celebrating the latest trailer with some XemSai ;) I was partly inspired to write this from remembering reading Crazy for You by Laylah (check it out if you haven't, I really enjoyed it ;)) and partly from just really loving XemSai and the Turks


End file.
